This Is Not America

Warning: this post focuses largely on national identity and politics, and will probably offend someone. If you’re not a liberal, there’s a good chance that someone is you.

Ah, to be American. Overseas. Living the dream, right?

When we moved to Germany two years ago, people wanted to practice their English, talk about their experience visiting the U.S. or their dream to do so, and discuss the things that “everybody knows” about America.

Ever since the election, people want to practice their English to ask questions about U.S. democracy and Trump and racial violence, and confirm the (wrong) things that “everybody knows” about America.

The things that have remained consistent? 1) Many non-Americans have a fascination with most things American, 2) Their view is skewed by the television and news they receive, and 3) Without a similar point of reference, few understand just how vast and diverse the U.S. actually is.

Unfortunately, I think the last two points also apply in varying degrees to Americans themselves. In particular, Trump supporters and the increasingly vocal minority of them that equate “Make America Great Again” with “Make America White, Heterosexual, Male-Dominated, and Christian.”

They have admitted that they don’t read to learn or be challenged, they don’t travel, they don’t have a curiosity about, or feel an obligation to, their fellow human beings across the country or around the globe.

You don’t have to know the world to know how things work. But you do have to know something beyond what people spoon-feed you. I think the greatest disservice we’ve done to ourselves as a nation is believing our own hype, and assuming we are an invaluable gift to the world and other nations have little to offer us. 

But if I asked an American what made us great as a nation--how others might perceive what we've done for the planet--some of the following might not pop first to mind:

Consumerism

Judging by Domino's Pizza takeover of a German pizza chain last year, the glut of American fast food giants and clothing brands, and the eagerness to label something "American" or "American-style," there’s definitely a Yankee invasion afoot. 

The other day I shopped at Patagonia, then came home to read that Five Guys was branching out into Germany. The supply is clearly meeting some sort of demand.

This is one of several Munich shops I've seen
that advertises "American-style nails."

Pizza places have a variety of location-inspired themes for their

toppings. Usually there's a couple of American states or major cities

on the menu; this one is oddly Florida-specific. And most of them have

some version of the "American" pizza, which has onions, pepperoni,

and sometimes mushrooms, but always corn!

Entertainment

Not surprisingly, American books, music, television, and movies are everywhere. The demand for American shows has contributed enormously to the German dubbing industry, and the prevalence of German rap is unfortunately high. 

The influence extends to the stage as well. Last week we saw a performance of Alvin Ailey American Dance, and posters advertising upcoming theater productions of Grease, Rocky Horror, Sister Act, and Porgy & Bess (!).

Star Wars iconography is so universal
it's now graffiti

Culture

If you listen long enough, you’ll hear English sprinkled throughout many German conversations. Much of it is American slang. The rest of it proves that f@%& is used way too often in our media, or suggests Germans are learning English from New Yorkers. 😉

In a post in my previous blog I bid a fond adieu to San Francisco hipsters, only to find a German version here in Munich. Sigh.

On the plus side, I have seen an evolution in interactions in the service industry. While everyone online warns about the cold demeanor of unfriendly German staff, I’ve encountered much more of the American “service with a smile” mentality. I think a lot of it has to do with interactions with other cultures, too. I’ve been surprised by Germans who hug upon meeting you, and that’s one quirk that makes me feel closer to home.

The F Word

While "Freedom" would be at the top of my list, as demonstrated by the Black Lives Matter and Women Marches and anti-neo-Nazi demonstrations here in Europe, the F word I'm talking about is Fear. 

This was on display for several months in an eyeglass shop
on one of the busiest streets in Munich

This is particularly palpable here, where people see dangerous signs that the U.S. is marching down the same road Germany traveled leading up to World War II.

There have been a few recent instances of tourists being arrested for making a Hitler salute in public, which is illegal in Germany. Given the devastating history of Nazis here, it's understandable. On the other hand, legislating behavior doesn't change beliefs.

As hurtful as it can sometimes be, one of the great things about America is that you have broad freedom to express yourself. 

Our political system may be crap, but it’s ours and we can say so. The attempts to overturn a life-saving healthcare system may be crap, but they’re our party-blind agendas and we can say so. Our educational system may be underwhelming and overpriced, but it’s ours and we can say so. When we're afraid that we're heading to a dark place in our history, we can say so. But that also means everyone is listening, and they don't always have context.

I love my country. It has its failings, but it’s a target of both praise and criticism because for so many people it is the epitome of turning dreams and hard work and big risk into big rewards. 

O'er the land of the free
and the home of the brave

It’s something I try to remember when people tell me everyone in America is fat and lazy (why, thank you) or is bigoted or owns a gun or is in a gang or lives in a mansion, etc. 

Yes, Trump is a buffoon of unimaginable value to those who have been dying to puncture our American-flag-bearing balloon. He’s the perfect example of American excess and puffery. 

But he is not the hundreds of millions of normal people living normal lives away from the overblown pageantry that is constantly parading across TV screens and social media.

So, while I’m here, away from my country and seeing it through other people’s eyes, I have come to appreciate it more, flaws and all.

It’s a good lesson in practicing patience and maintaining humor. It’s a good lesson in tempering pride with humility. And it’s a good lesson in reserving judgment—not assuming you know an entire nation of people based on your limited, biased exposure.

It's that final lesson we could all use a bit more of. The ignorance and fear of our current Administration is feeding insecurities around the globe. It would be a shame for our lasting American legacy to be aggressive posturing in the face of other nations, and mindless persecution of peoples that some consider to be different. That's in direct opposition to why our country was founded in the first place.

Sadly, it makes the impressions that come from endless snack food, overdubbed reality shows, and cheesy "American-style" shops and diners seem not so bad...

Travels by Train: Eschenlohe and the Alps

A view of Eschenlohe during a Saturday hike

We've been talking about visiting the Alps since before we moved down from Hamburg. Larry grew up near the Rockies in Canada, and has been craving a big dose of mountain scenery. 

So it's great that we're an easy train ride away--whether here in Germany or just across the border to Austria or Switzerland. 

A few weeks ago, Larry had a great idea--watch the Perseid meteor shower somewhere in the Alps, away from city light pollution. Natural phenomenon and natural wonders, all in one trip!

View of an Alpine church from our guesthouse

Since it would be just a quick weekend getaway, I wanted someplace close, but with few distractions. 

I found what I was looking for in Eschenlohe, a town of about 1,500 people in Germany's famous Garmisch-Partenkirchen region. 

Eschenlohe is only an hour away, with a couple of natural attractions and little else to do but enjoy the scenery. 

We went this past weekend, when the meteor showers were supposed to be at their peak. Unfortunately, Friday rain meant no meteor viewing that evening, but the rain held off enough for a couple of great hiking expeditions on Saturday. 

The clouds hung around, however, meaning no meteor sightings on Saturday night, either. Thankfully we got some sunny sky on Sunday morning before we headed back to Munich--the perfect way to end a lovely trip. 

This is where we stayed--the adorable Villa Bergkristall. Fantastic hosts in an authentic guest house.

There were several houses
around town that were decorated like
this one.

Our cozy room

Our first hike on Saturday was to the Asamklamm gorge on the Eschenlaine river.

For our second hike on Saturday we headed in the opposite direction--up above the town.

We survived the 800+-meter climb to Heldenkreuz, for a spectacular view of the valley.

For reference from the ground, the

Heldenkreuz cross is that 

white speck circled above.

I did not know before the climb

how high up we'd be going.

The hiking websites all mark this

as an easy/effortless outing because it's
mostly switchbacks and not a straight climb.

This is the cross at the Heldenkreuz lookout.
Many Bavarian mountain peaks have
crosses on them. Some appeared as early as
the 1400s, but most started in the 1800s,
when churches sponsored them as reminders
in spots where people felt closest to god.

Sunday morning and the clouds were clearing away. Around this time, a church bell was ringing
and echoing off the surrounding mountains. Truly a different world!

Now I've got a bit of mountain fever, too. I'm looking forward to our next Alpine Adventure!

The Little Things: Rules!

One of the first phrases you hear when learning German is Alles in Ordnung (lit., everything's in order). At first it seems like one of those things someone says in a parody sketch. But then you notice you hear it pretty regularly.

The current scandals with falsified car emissions, DeutscheBank, and Siemens aside, Germans really do seem to appreciate rules and order. I can agree; things tend to go better when everyone has the same understanding of expectations. But sometimes it seems the rules take over at the expense of common sense or compromise.

Bureaucracy

I’ve said it before and it still amazes me: It doesn’t matter in what arena of life, if you sign up or register for something in Germany, a forest of paper will follow. 

“Get it in writing” is not just a recommendation here, it’s a mandate. 

No wonder, then, with so much correspondence to track, that things get lost in the shuffle. Our unfortunate experience with this had to do with Larry’s unemployment. 

The debacle around applying for unemployment is a story for another day, but when Larry started his job here in Munich, unemployment wasn’t notified, and they paid his benefit that month. 

Of course, we received a letter when they (and I) noticed, but there were no instructions on how to remedy the situation. Instead, the instructions came in a subsequent letter, and I dutifully followed them to make a refund via bank transfer well before the stated deadline. 

Well apparently no one checked, because we received another, threatening letter (dated before the original deadline and after we’d already made our payment) saying Larry was in violation of regulation XYZ and now needed to appear in person at the unemployment office in Munich to explain himself. 

Larry, along with our pile of paperwork and his HR manager, did just that. The Munich folks looked at everything and said the Hamburg folks must be crazy, then naturally filed more paperwork to confirm Alles in Ordnung.

Driving

I’m pretty sure most Germans would be horrified to know in the U.S. you can sleep through a semester-long class in high school, cram to pass a written test, and if you don’t damage any property in your road test, you’ll probably be given a license to operate a ton of fun on four wheels.

Getting a German driver’s license (I’ve heard) means significant study time and can cost thousands of Euros. Around 30% of folks who take the written test don't pass the first time, you must attend an official driving school, and there's a first-aid training requirement as well. It may be strenuous, but there’s certainly a degree of comfort in that, considering the largely speed-limit-free Autobahn.

House Rules

Our apartment in Hamburg had house rules written into the lease, and it’s easy enough to be quiet between 10 PM and 7 AM. Our Munich lease takes that a step further, however, and also deems the hours between noon and 3 PM as quiet time. That made getting settled in a bit challenging, since I had to remember to only rearrange furniture or hang pictures outside of those midday hours.

We’ve also had a couple of “incidents” to remind us how things work. The first happened shortly after we moved in. 

We had hurriedly unloaded the bikes from the moving truck and locked them together in our building’s secured bike alley. Several days later we found a handwritten note on our bikes which roughly translated to:

Whose bikes are these? Kindly separate them and arrange them properly. 

Turns out that in addition to looking like a jumbled mess, one of our bikes was facing the wrong way in the orderly queue of the lane.

The second incident was much more stressful. Several days after we'd had a small sofa bed delivered, I got a text from our landlady asking to confirm the delivery was ours. She then said I needed to call one of the representatives on the building’s board, because the rep had filed an incident report of damage to the building during the delivery. 

Thankfully the woman noticed my obvious terror (which came more from having to speak German on the phone than anything else), and reassured me it was not that bad.

Essentially, she saw something and followed procedure, and the building administrators would contact us if we needed to pay anything. 

Turns out the “damage” was streaks on a hallway wall from the sofa fabric, which I guess the cleaning lady was able to take care of when she came the following week.

Language.

One of the things I like most about learning German is the clear set of rules. On the whole, it’s a fairly logical language. So I’m always surprised when I hear people say it has too many exceptions. 

I think English-speakers forget that English is more about the exceptions to the rule than the rule. Don’t believe me? Think about some of the errors little kids make because they’re trying to apply the rules (I growed that, she put the knifes on the table, we were loster than you were, etc.).

Germany actually has a Spelling Council to resolve changes in the way words are presented. Talk about order!

Online Security

Forget about mere passwords and PINs. Yes, you’ll need both to access your online banking here, but for certain transactions (transfers and some online credit card purchases), you also need to download and register a security app.

To complete your transaction, a QR code pops up, you scan it with the app, and you get a unique number you have to enter to confirm the transfer or purchase. A pain to set up, sometimes annoying to use, but overall a good use of procedure for peace of mind.

Recycling

There are many, many guidelines around sorting trash, which I mentioned in a post on my previous blog. By now I've got my sorting system and schedule down. 

But here's another example of where the rules are a bit stricter than Hamburg, in that here you can only deposit your bottles in the street bins on workdays between 7 AM and 7 PM.

The Unspoken Rules

There are enough challenges navigating a different culture and language--try adding on top those rules that aren't discussed, but you have to figure out and follow anyway: 

• Although things slowed down in certain seasons in Hamburg, it was not as common there as it is here in Munich to find restaurants, shops, and services (e.g. medical offices) shutting down for vacation or extended holidays. You just have to anticipate and plan ahead.

• In Hamburg it might have been considered odd to make eye contact with a stranger, but in Munich it is apparently not at all odd to stare at people you don’t know. I have learned to stop being offended by it, and assume it is appreciation for the outfit I’m wearing that day. 😏

• Around the time of the sofa incident, we purchased some plants and window boxes. Although we don't have a patio or window ledges like most of the other apartments, we thought we might use part of the gutter extensions to hold some flowers and herbs. 

         We explained our idea to one of 

         Larry’s German colleagues, and got a 

         look that was one part shock and one 

         part pity at our naivete. 

         So, in the interest of avoiding a future
         phone call for an incident report about 
         our illegal use of space, some plants 

         (and our window garden dream) had 
         to die.

So glad I always take my clothes out of the
drying room by the next day...

• Earlier this week, after formally introducing herself to me when we met in the building's drying room, one of my neighbors proceeded to chatter away while we hung our clothes. 

         I only understood about half of what 
         she was saying, but certainly 
         understood her conspiratorial aside
         about the unknown person who had 
         left their comforter in the drying 
         room for two weeks now (!)

Exceptions

Of course, there are always going to be folks who disobey the rules. 

Although I’m always surprised at how neatly trash is piled up around overflowing public park bins on nice weekends, there are instances where trash cans have clearly been rummaged, probably for recyclables that carry a Pfand (deposit).

Ignorance of the rules is a hard excuse to make,
especially in the case of public transportation 
and ticket validation, when all stations 
have the rules posted at the entrances.

While most people obey the traffic signals, there are those who cross illegally despite disapproving bystanders. (Seriously, I've seen people glare daggers at jaywalkers.) Joggers in particular don't spend a lot of time waiting for the green, because they are undoubtedly on a schedule to get in some fitness before a day of work.

And I'm surprised it doesn't happen more often given the honor system approach to public transportation, but I have seen people who try to buck the system and get a hefty ticket for not having a valid fare card.

Toeing the Line
Most advice sites and blogs for expats strongly emphasize following the rules to fit in when you live in Germany. 

Yeah, it chafes a bit when, for example, you're not used to registering each time you move cities, you have to pay the government a fee for radio and TV even if you don't use or even own a radio or TV, and you find you have to conform to significant public pressure. 

I think it's part of the reason Germans have a reputation for being a bit rigid and mirthless. But this is not a society of automatons who act without independent thinking--I've certainly heard Germans grumble about the rules and red tape. 

I think it's less about lauding the procedures and regulations, and more about the end result. Because if the day-to-day is operating smoothly, that leaves more time for enjoying food, friends, and beer, and less time for sweating the details.

And in that regard, Alles in Ordnung.